River Of Red...!!!

I think back on the past
& a pearl of tear drops from my eyes

Every one keeps saying this pain is gonna end someday,
That I will get through this for sure..
But only I knew how hard it's for me to completely move on, to completely forget you
I wonder if such a day would ever come..

I no more miss you but I do miss us
& every time it happens I feel my heart getting heavier & heavier..

You were the best thing that ever happened to me
I would have gone to any extent, beared any pain only to make you stay with me..

But then one day you said that you hate me, which broke my broken heart even more..!!
You said that you regret all those times which you have spent with me..!!

Baby, I just wanted to see you happy
I didn't knew that you would hate my presence in your life to such an extent

I couldn't force myself to stop loving you neither can I force you to love me
The only way I found was to go away, go far away from you and your life

I just want you to be happy &
If your happiness is without me,
I promise you, I would go to far away place where even death can't find me
& if I find that place is a desert I promise you by the time you reach there,
I will turn it into a river of red.....!!!

# Just One Touch.

It's been 1 hour since Taara has been crying.It was the 5th time suraj rejected her call in that day

They have been in relationship since 3 years.The first year was like a fairy tale for Taara.Every thing was so beautiful.She felt like mumbai was the best place on this planer cz she found her first love in that city.

But after a year suraj had to move to Chennai for his job.Taara didn't wanted their relation to be long distance but then she had no choice.He moved things were going ok for 2-3 months as it was the starting if their long distance saga but then suraj got so immersed in his work that he rarely got time for Taara.The time they spent together reduced from hours to minutes..minutes to seconds and now he rarely talked to her.Taara knew that he loves her but proper communication is the only key for the success of any relationship.

She closed her eyes, she realised that her beautiful relationship was on the edge of the bridge which could break at any time.Random thoughts started conquering her troubled mind.She started assuming that suraj has lost interest in her.Started thinking That he might have found a better girl than her. All those thoughts scared her so much.

But then she can't let this happen. She can't let this beautiful relationship scatter like that.She remembered the last time they met it was 5 months ago.She remembered the last time they talked heartfully it was like 2-3 weeks ago.She was so scared but had faith in her love, in his love, in their love.

She stopped crying, went to her wardrobe and took out that dress which Suraj has gifted her on her last birthday.Then she applied parachute body lotion which would make her hands so smooth.She wore than white colour dress and remembered those words suraj told her the last time when she wore it.
"Baby you look like an angel In thus white dress"...those words were still echoing in her ears. She let her hair loose, the way suraj liked it and wore those matching heels.She looked at herself in the mirror and she knew she was looking her best.

Straight she went to airport where her friend RAHUL was waiting for her with tickets of the next flight for Chennai.The flight took off and in the next 5 hours she was in Chennai.The city which took away her boy from him.

She took a cab and went straight to Suraj's office.She talked to the Receptionist, the Receptionist asked Taara to wait for a few minutes and disappeared.

After 10minutes....

Suraj comes out of his office,as his receptionist had informed him that a girl has come to his office to meet him.He was wondering who might be that girl because he had no friends nor relatives in Chennai.His eyes were searching for that girl in the room where he was standing and suddenly he froze at the sight of 'his girl' in 'his dress'

Suraj: Baby, What a surprise.You didn't tell me that your coming to meet me.(about to hug her in excitement as he was seeing her after 5months)

Taara: (stopped him from hugging her)
hmmm, ummm, ahh...!!!!(you don't have time even to answer my call but your expecting to give you my updates)

Suraj:Taara, tell me.Is every thing alright? Why did you come here suddenly?
Taara: Ahhh, RAHUL said that I don't look good in this white dress which you gifted me.So I came over here to prove him wrong
Suraj:Your so naughty, tell me na what's the matter?
Taara: I told you na.That's the only reason and seems like my mobile isnt working because it doesn't show any notifications or calls from you, i was thinking i would change it.
(baby I'm so upset and hurt Cz of your behavior, but I didn't come here to argue with you, I really want my old suraj back)
Suraj: no matter what you are wearing, you always look the best.(I'm sorry Taara, I understood that you are upset because of my behavior, but trust me I really love you so much)
Taara:So, let's go.
Suraj: where?
Taara: To get a new mobile for me.
Suraj:But it's my working hours now.I can't come.We will go after 1-2 hours.
Taara:I'm giving you 5 minutes and if you won't come with me now. I promise you I would return this white dress to you forever and go for shopping with RAHUL.
Suraj:But baby, try to understand.
Taara:I don't wanna hear anything.Choice is yours.
Suraj: (I knew if I say No to you now, I would regret my decision forever)
I decide to ditch my office for today.
Taara: ufffff...
Suraj: Atleast now let me hug you please.

& then they hug each other tightly & whisper to each other in their ears
Suraj:Baby, I missed you a lot.
Taara: really?
Suraj:I'm sorry, I knew,I might have ignored your texts, rejected your calls but truth is I love you so very much.
Taara: hmmm.. Suraj: now tell me, will you go for shopping with RAHUL.
Taara: I was just kidding idiot, I'm all yours and you know it.
Suraj: Ohhh, I love you so much Taara.
Taara: love you too sweet heart.
& then their hug ends with a passionate kiss.

Sometimes,all you need is a single touch to bring back that lost magic in your relationship.We might be busy in our lives, but every time we see our loved once our heart skips it's beat and we can't stop ourselves from falling in love once again with the same person.

This post is written as a part of Indiblogger happy hours

Days, Times & You..!!!

Days have passed & times are changed
With those times even you have changed like a chameleon...

You were sweet but now your harsh
You were cute but now you are rude
You were the sweetest guy I ever met but nw I wonder where did that sweetness go?

Days have passed and times have changed
With those times even you have changed like a chameleon
You said I was different but now say I'm a duffer
You said I was pretty but now you say I'm bad

I never changed, I'm the same even today, that girl whom you met years ago

You are the one who changed
It's your love which is changed

I wonder if you had changed or were you like this all the time?

May be you were always like this, but I was so blind in your love, I failed to see the real you...!!!

Dhoz Random Thoughts..!!!

I don't knew
what it is which is going on inside me...!!!


Tears, many tears
not in my eyes but in my heart,
Are they tears or the pain which you gave me...!!!

You went away and now a part of my heart is missing
It should have become lighter, but I wonder why it feels so heavy?

There's a war going on in my mind all the time
thoughts of my past & thoughts of my future seems to be fighting every time,
Past is gone & future is yet to come,
I wonder what am I doing with my present..!!

Alone I feel, but I don't want any company
because I knew, no one would comfort me the way you can..!!

I look at my fingers & then remember you
Cz you said that you love them
& but I love them only when you are holding them.
But with no more you around me,I wonder what I would do with the gaps between them..!!

I don't admit, but truth is even today a part of me still wishes that 'you' were mine
Not that 'you' who parted with me
But that you for whom I fell 4 years ago..!!!

There is something going on in my mind all the time.Every time I try to figure it out but I fail.I keep searching for ways to stop my mind from thinking because every time it thinks it finds no one but only you.It thinks, thinks and keeps thinking only about you and sometimes I feel like to take a hammer and hit my head so hard, atleast then may be you would be out my mind.

I mean your out of my life.So you need to be out of my heart to.Inorder to take you out of my heart you need to be out of my mind but this bloody mind which never remembers anything related to my textbook, seems to remember even the minute details of you.To my wonder even today when I open my eyes in the morning the first thought I get is only of yours.Even if I fail to take you out of my heart I can manage, but taking you out of my mind has now became an impossible task for me.Sometimes, I wish I can become like 'Aamir Khan' in gaijinI atleast then my mind would have some rest..!

I wonder if the same happens with you too..ROFL..I wonder why my mind things about this kind of things which can never happen even in dreams.But es mind ka kya karu..
Someone said try meditation,I tried, but even when I meditate I think only about you.
Someone said keep yourself as busy as possible, I even tried it, but it didn't work.No matter how much I'm busy I still get thoughts of you.
This is really exhausting.Sometimes I keep remembering " I shouldn't think about you, I shouldn't think about you, I shouldn't think about you"..but I wonder remembering my mind that I shouldn't think about you is equal to thinking about you only

This is so exhausting yaar.I really want you out of mind.I just wanna find some way to stop thinking about you before my mind blasts.

Good, bad, love, hate, angry, sympathy, no matter what kind of thought it is, it's only related to you.
Sometimes I feel like instead of concentrating so much on you, if I had concentrated on my studies, I would surely have been topper of my class today.

Oh God, Please save me.
I'm not asking you to do miracles and make me forget him.I'm just asking you to give my mind some rest.

Please,Koi nahi tho ye ek help kardo na please please...!!

Lost In Your Love..♥

We many not be together today
but thoughts of you still make me feel your presence around me!!

Smiles,dhoz cute little smiles,
every time I remember it, I couldn't stop wondering what was so special about it which made me go so crazy for you!!

Moments,dhoz beautiful moments,
times spent with you were the beautiful moments of my life,
every moment spent with you was like a day spent in heaven...!!

Words,dhoz meaningless words
Words you talked rarely meant something, but every word you spoke would make me smile like an idiot..!!

looks,dhoz random looks
every time you looked at me,
you made me feel like no one could look at me the way you can.
I wonder if it was the magic of your eyes or your love.!!

Having you around me, would make me forget the world around me
May be because I saw my world in you..!!!

Don't blame me for falling for you so much,
Dhoz cute little smiles
Dhoz beautiful moments
Dhoz meaningless words
Dhoz random looks

are to be blamed
.

and even today I couldn't stop myself falling in love again and again only with you.!!

P.S: Miss you a lot 'J'

Me Or...????

So, tell me whom do you love more? Me or your dad?
Rahul asked priya..


PRIYA: HMM....coughs..hmmm..again coughs.(he want me to choose between 20 years love and 3 years love, cunning he is.!!)

RAHUL:Ohhh, your taking so much time.I knew you love your dad more than me (sounding upset)

PRIYA:(hmm..I love my dad but I don't want him to be upset)
Baby, I love you, your really my life.I have spent my 20years with my dad and you are the one with whom I wanna spend my rest of life(I hope he's pleased of my answer)

RAHUL:umm,I knew it madam..(Mann Mein patake phoot rahe hai,but I don't want to her to knew it)

PRIYA: Ufff,if you already knew it then why did you ask me, such a dramebaaz you are..!!
Now you tell me, whom do you love more.Me or your mom? (Ab aayega line pe mera hero,let me see how you answer it)

RAHUL:umm..hmmm...ahhh...(ye Mein kaha phas gaya)

PRIYA:Tell me sir, kya hua?

RAHUL:Baby, I love you more than my mom

PRIYA:Ohhh, come on stop kidding Rahul.I know about you.Please tell me the truth.

RAHUL:I'm serious dear.I really love you so much.

PRIYA:(little confused.I didn't expect this answer.Kya hua is idiot ko why did he answer my question in this way)...Ahhh..!!

RAHUL:Priya, your impossible I said I love you yet your confused and even if I say I love my mom you would have been confused.You girls ask questions only to hear those answers which want to hear.

PRIYA:Im sorry RAHUL.But I'm happy thank you thank you so much.

RAHUL:Ok, I have got some work.Il call u later.Tc.Bye

PRIYA: ok bye Tc.

PRIYA:(I'm still confused how did Rahul choose me over his Mom.I knew he loves his mom so much.How is this possible?)

Few minutes later....

PRIYA:hey,Kya hua?
you said you have some work, but you call me back so early.

RAHUL:Baby, Actually I'm sorry.

PRIYA: Sorry kyu? Kya hua?

RAHUL:I don't wanted to make you upset that's the reason I answered your question In that way.Even you knew I love my mom so much.I can't give her place to any one.Im sorry.

PRIYA:Ohhh Rahul, you are really a sweet heart.

RAHUL:Really???? (Sweet heart?? Me?? I thought you would shout at me for this)

PRIYA:Baby, I don't want to replace your mom's place in your life.I knew that if you knew how to love and respect your mom you will surely love and respect me too.

RAHUL:Ohhh, your so sweet.

PRIYA:Vo tho Mein hu...;-)

RAHUL:I love you so much baby..♡♥♡

PRIYA:Even I love you so much..♡♥♡ (Blush..blush...blush...)

Love can sometimes be so cute and childish(coochy-coochy types)...!!
(Conditions applied: Only if you have learnt the art of understanding each other...;-) )

Please Stop It..!!!

Oh my dear,

Can you please stop it for god's sake..???

Can you please stop controlling my mind?

Can you please stop making me emotional?

Can you please stop showing me random flash backs of him & me?

Can you please stop showing me day dreams?

Can you please stop making fool of myself?

Can you please stop those waterfall of tears in my eyes?

Can you please stop trusting every one?

Can you please stop forgiving even the one who don't deserve it?

Can please stop imagining that this world is so beautiful?

Can you please stop falling in love again and again with the same idiot?

I beg you, please stop it
Your responsibility is to pump blood to my body, so you better concentrate on it instead of interfering in my complicated life and making it even more difficult to live...!!!

With best regards
from your owner

To her bloody heart♥

Yes,I'm Changed..but Do U Know Why?

I'm changed,
Yes, I'm changed.

I'm no more that innocent girl Who believes others easily
Cz you taught me only to believe myself...

I'm no more that sweet girl Who talks sweetly
Cz you taught me that every time I talk sweet il get only rudeness in return...

I'm no more that idiot girl Who believes in promises
Cz you taught me that promises are made only to break them one day..

I'm no more than princess who dreams of fairy tales in real life
Cz you taught me that fairytales are just fake & the only man who can treat me like a princess is my dad...

I'm no more that sensitive girl who cries for small things
Cz you taught me that every time I cry some one will hurt me even more..

I'm no more that filmy girl who loves to watch bollywood movies
Cz you taught me that those kind of things can happen only In movies not in real life..

I'm no more that lovely girl who fell in love with love
Cz you taught me that love is just a slow poison

yes, I'm changed
But don't forget
It's only Cz of you I changed...!! P.S: Thank you so much for changing me, it's only Cz of you I realised how strong I am and what I actually deserve...!!

Confusion? Ya Happiness?

Days keep on passing yet no change in my confused mind? No answers for my questions?? Where am I going? Why am I going? Will I finally find happiness & peace? What if I won't? Will I become successful..successful ki spelling theek se nahi aathi & I'm dreaming of success.thanks to the dictionary mode mobiles provide I get all my spellings correct...

coming back to our topic.Can anyone please tell me answers to my questions.Mind ka deep fry hora hai but yet unable to analyse anything.I guess I need some proffesional guidance..!! Let's go in order?? Can some body tell me what is LIFE? Well, I asked one of my frnd and this what he told me

Then I thought he's my friend so obviously his knowledge would be as same as mine.I asked my sir and he said this

Once again I was super confused, decided to analyse it by myself.
My ab tak ka knowledge said that life has 2 parts...personal & proffesional. Personal..it's so complicated every one know it?
It first brings two strangers together and later makes them strangers once again.If it really wants them to be strangers finally, then why does it bring them close? professional Our studies start from nursery & continue upto graduation & sometimes even after graduation..But why?
Is 19years of education really
necessary to learn what is life? Well, in that case I'm in the 20th year yet unable to figure out??

Emotions?? Dreams?? Goals?? Love?? Expectations??kya hai ye sab? Where will we get that happiness we are searching and when??
Running, running we are always running behind something and sometimes we even run without knowing why we are running.If your running to catch the last train then that is ok..but please don't expect some one to help you get in train like that in DDLG.
I always get diverted easily.Chalo so I was talking about peace and happiness right? So where am I going to get these things? Is any shop keeper going to sell them to me? If at all he sells, at what price can I buy them? Or should I go to Himalayas and meditate like the sadu's to find peace and happiness.Well, I agree that life's complicated sometimes but itna be nahi ki you have to go to Himalayas and grow beards.

Happiness is simple.Happiness is always around us but we don't notice is.Happiness Is doing things heartfully.

Happiness is when you wake up in the morning and realise you got a text from a friend whom you had lost contact a long time ago.
happiness is when you tell your mom that she's the world's best cook and she says that your the world's best bacha!!
Happiness is when you gift something to your dad with your first salaryhaan..yaar jitni bar salary mile utni bar gift dena tho mushkil hai na!!
Happiness is taking a leave from your work, sitting on the sofa with a big piece of pizza in your and cool drinks on your table and watching your favorite movie on television
happiness is spending time with our grand parents, playing with a child, getting through a tough subject in an exam, hanging out with friends, helping someone,defeating that guy who had crush on our crush in a video game, listening to our favorite music and dancing like we dont care, reading our favorite book whole day lying on bed, picnic with family, late night group studies,midnight birthday celebrations, talk with a stranger on a journey and the most important one
Commenting on my blog posts(kidding guys)..well, i feel so happy when I see comments on my blog ...!!etc etc there are many more things which make us happy
ye sab hi tho hai happiness ke definitions..!!
"Even amitji said this do lafzo ki hai ye zindagaani & hrithik ji also said zindagi dho pal ki" Then why wait for chances create your own chances.Life isn't yesterday or tomorrow it's right now, this moment..!!


So guys, stop complaining and start living.After all we have only one life.Heart breaks, lessons, love, family, friends, dreams, goals, etc jo be hai we Get to see only in this one life.

Never forget what our priya Vidya balan ji had said in the dirty picture "jab bagwaan ne zindagi ek di hai tho phir soch na kyu do baar".I'm not advising to take your important decisions without thinking twice but yaar there are many little things around us that give us happiness.

SO guys, take risks, forgive your enemies, forget your worries, love everyone, spread smiles and live your life in such a way that every one starts wishing their own lives to be like yours...!!!

a lonely soul's story...

He's gone & would never return..
 Even she knew it,,
 but there's something that stops her for accepting it..!!

 She thinks about those days when they had a fight and just a sorry would break all the silence.But now things are different,even a million sorries can't repair the pain they have given to each other.

She thinks, thinks & thinks  why & where did every thing go so wrong that today they were like the 2 shores of a sea, which belonged to the same sea but can nva be together.


 She seems to be confused all the time,

There are times when she feels she can move on &
 Then there are times she feels living a single day without him is like a big challenge to her

There are times when she thinks she will fall in love once again &
Then there are times she falls in love again & again only with him.. There are times when she feels she can forget him & Then there are times she feels what would she do, where would she go, if he's still in her mind & heart.. Then... She hears, hears and then drowns herself in music.For she thinks music is the only thing which comforts her next to him.
She listens to "Katy Perry's 'in another life"...an old lady crying remembering those 20's days when she was with her love, and how every thing ended.. she wonders that might be her future too..
She listens to "thinking of you" how a girl looses her love and marries some other guy.singing."cz when I'm with him, I'm thinking of you"..she wonders even this could be herself in future..
She listens to Taylor swift's 'sad, beautiful, tragic,...& remembers that even 'she had a beautiful, magic love affair,, a beautiful tragic love affair'
She always tries to keep herself busy because she's scared if she pauses even for a moment, his thoughts would kill her But all her plans go vain, his thoughts haunts her no matter she's busy or doing nothing..
She cries, cries and cries at the top of her voice not knowing that he could never hear, wondering how could a single person's absence make herself feel terrible to such an extent..
The only way she comforts herself is by closing her eyes, by going to bed, a place where her mind goes to a temporary coma and no more shows flashbacks of him or them,, She wishes to go into a permanent coma one day to end this pain forever...
It's like she can neither live without him nor live with him & may be that's the reason she chooses to wander on empty roads like a Lonely Soul..!!!