Baby, do I ever cross your mind atleast once? Don't you miss me atleast once.???

How could this happen? You were the sweetset guy..you were the best person I ever met..you said that you can't see anyone in pain then how can you give so much pain to someone who loves you more than her own life..

I wonder if you are a gajini.How could you forget all those beautiful moments, those endless conversations, those dreams of future which we saw together..

You were a liar & I was a fool who believed you.You are the one who broke my heart in to million pieces & it's only your name written on my every tear.

Idiot, you broke me so much.You took away that part of me with you which was my favorite.I hate you, I fucking hate you so very much..
For coming into my life, for making me love you, for making those promises which you knew you would never keep, for showing those dreams which you knew are never gonna come true...

I wish , I really wish that something hard hits my head so that I can forget my past, atleast in that way you would be out my mind & finally out of my mind too...!!!

River Of Red...!!!

I think back on the past
& a pearl of tear drops from my eyes

Every one keeps saying this pain is gonna end someday,
That I will get through this for sure..
But only I knew how hard it's for me to completely move on, to completely forget you
I wonder if such a day would ever come..

I no more miss you but I do miss us
& every time it happens I feel my heart getting heavier & heavier..

You were the best thing that ever happened to me
I would have gone to any extent, beared any pain only to make you stay with me..

But then one day you said that you hate me, which broke my broken heart even more..!!
You said that you regret all those times which you have spent with me..!!

Baby, I just wanted to see you happy
I didn't knew that you would hate my presence in your life to such an extent

I couldn't force myself to stop loving you neither can I force you to love me
The only way I found was to go away, go far away from you and your life

I just want you to be happy &
If your happiness is without me,
I promise you, I would go to far away place where even death can't find me
& if I find that place is a desert I promise you by the time you reach there,
I will turn it into a river of red.....!!!

# Just One Touch.

It's been 1 hour since Taara has been crying.It was the 5th time suraj rejected her call in that day

They have been in relationship since 3 years.The first year was like a fairy tale for Taara.Every thing was so beautiful.She felt like mumbai was the best place on this planer cz she found her first love in that city.

But after a year suraj had to move to Chennai for his job.Taara didn't wanted their relation to be long distance but then she had no choice.He moved things were going ok for 2-3 months as it was the starting if their long distance saga but then suraj got so immersed in his work that he rarely got time for Taara.The time they spent together reduced from hours to minutes..minutes to seconds and now he rarely talked to her.Taara knew that he loves her but proper communication is the only key for the success of any relationship.

She closed her eyes, she realised that her beautiful relationship was on the edge of the bridge which could break at any time.Random thoughts started conquering her troubled mind.She started assuming that suraj has lost interest in her.Started thinking That he might have found a better girl than her. All those thoughts scared her so much.

But then she can't let this happen. She can't let this beautiful relationship scatter like that.She remembered the last time they met it was 5 months ago.She remembered the last time they talked heartfully it was like 2-3 weeks ago.She was so scared but had faith in her love, in his love, in their love.

She stopped crying, went to her wardrobe and took out that dress which Suraj has gifted her on her last birthday.Then she applied parachute body lotion which would make her hands so smooth.She wore than white colour dress and remembered those words suraj told her the last time when she wore it.
"Baby you look like an angel In thus white dress"...those words were still echoing in her ears. She let her hair loose, the way suraj liked it and wore those matching heels.She looked at herself in the mirror and she knew she was looking her best.

Straight she went to airport where her friend RAHUL was waiting for her with tickets of the next flight for Chennai.The flight took off and in the next 5 hours she was in Chennai.The city which took away her boy from him.

She took a cab and went straight to Suraj's office.She talked to the Receptionist, the Receptionist asked Taara to wait for a few minutes and disappeared.

After 10minutes....

Suraj comes out of his office,as his receptionist had informed him that a girl has come to his office to meet him.He was wondering who might be that girl because he had no friends nor relatives in Chennai.His eyes were searching for that girl in the room where he was standing and suddenly he froze at the sight of 'his girl' in 'his dress'

Suraj: Baby, What a surprise.You didn't tell me that your coming to meet me.(about to hug her in excitement as he was seeing her after 5months)

Taara: (stopped him from hugging her)
hmmm, ummm, ahh...!!!!(you don't have time even to answer my call but your expecting to give you my updates)

Suraj:Taara, tell me.Is every thing alright? Why did you come here suddenly?
Taara: Ahhh, RAHUL said that I don't look good in this white dress which you gifted me.So I came over here to prove him wrong
Suraj:Your so naughty, tell me na what's the matter?
Taara: I told you na.That's the only reason and seems like my mobile isnt working because it doesn't show any notifications or calls from you, i was thinking i would change it.
(baby I'm so upset and hurt Cz of your behavior, but I didn't come here to argue with you, I really want my old suraj back)
Suraj: no matter what you are wearing, you always look the best.(I'm sorry Taara, I understood that you are upset because of my behavior, but trust me I really love you so much)
Taara:So, let's go.
Suraj: where?
Taara: To get a new mobile for me.
Suraj:But it's my working hours now.I can't come.We will go after 1-2 hours.
Taara:I'm giving you 5 minutes and if you won't come with me now. I promise you I would return this white dress to you forever and go for shopping with RAHUL.
Suraj:But baby, try to understand.
Taara:I don't wanna hear anything.Choice is yours.
Suraj: (I knew if I say No to you now, I would regret my decision forever)
I decide to ditch my office for today.
Taara: ufffff...
Suraj: Atleast now let me hug you please.

& then they hug each other tightly & whisper to each other in their ears
Suraj:Baby, I missed you a lot.
Taara: really?
Suraj:I'm sorry, I knew,I might have ignored your texts, rejected your calls but truth is I love you so very much.
Taara: hmmm.. Suraj: now tell me, will you go for shopping with RAHUL.
Taara: I was just kidding idiot, I'm all yours and you know it.
Suraj: Ohhh, I love you so much Taara.
Taara: love you too sweet heart.
& then their hug ends with a passionate kiss.

Sometimes,all you need is a single touch to bring back that lost magic in your relationship.We might be busy in our lives, but every time we see our loved once our heart skips it's beat and we can't stop ourselves from falling in love once again with the same person.

This post is written as a part of Indiblogger happy hours

Days, Times & You..!!!

Days have passed & times are changed
With those times even you have changed like a chameleon...

You were sweet but now your harsh
You were cute but now you are rude
You were the sweetest guy I ever met but nw I wonder where did that sweetness go?

Days have passed and times have changed
With those times even you have changed like a chameleon
You said I was different but now say I'm a duffer
You said I was pretty but now you say I'm bad

I never changed, I'm the same even today, that girl whom you met years ago

You are the one who changed
It's your love which is changed

I wonder if you had changed or were you like this all the time?

May be you were always like this, but I was so blind in your love, I failed to see the real you...!!!

Dhoz Random Thoughts..!!!

I don't knew
what it is which is going on inside me...!!!


Tears, many tears
not in my eyes but in my heart,
Are they tears or the pain which you gave me...!!!

You went away and now a part of my heart is missing
It should have become lighter, but I wonder why it feels so heavy?

There's a war going on in my mind all the time
thoughts of my past & thoughts of my future seems to be fighting every time,
Past is gone & future is yet to come,
I wonder what am I doing with my present..!!

Alone I feel, but I don't want any company
because I knew, no one would comfort me the way you can..!!

I look at my fingers & then remember you
Cz you said that you love them
& but I love them only when you are holding them.
But with no more you around me,I wonder what I would do with the gaps between them..!!

I don't admit, but truth is even today a part of me still wishes that 'you' were mine
Not that 'you' who parted with me
But that you for whom I fell 4 years ago..!!!

There is something going on in my mind all the time.Every time I try to figure it out but I fail.I keep searching for ways to stop my mind from thinking because every time it thinks it finds no one but only you.It thinks, thinks and keeps thinking only about you and sometimes I feel like to take a hammer and hit my head so hard, atleast then may be you would be out my mind.

I mean your out of my life.So you need to be out of my heart to.Inorder to take you out of my heart you need to be out of my mind but this bloody mind which never remembers anything related to my textbook, seems to remember even the minute details of you.To my wonder even today when I open my eyes in the morning the first thought I get is only of yours.Even if I fail to take you out of my heart I can manage, but taking you out of my mind has now became an impossible task for me.Sometimes, I wish I can become like 'Aamir Khan' in gaijinI atleast then my mind would have some rest..!

I wonder if the same happens with you too..ROFL..I wonder why my mind things about this kind of things which can never happen even in dreams.But es mind ka kya karu..
Someone said try meditation,I tried, but even when I meditate I think only about you.
Someone said keep yourself as busy as possible, I even tried it, but it didn't work.No matter how much I'm busy I still get thoughts of you.
This is really exhausting.Sometimes I keep remembering " I shouldn't think about you, I shouldn't think about you, I shouldn't think about you"..but I wonder remembering my mind that I shouldn't think about you is equal to thinking about you only

This is so exhausting yaar.I really want you out of mind.I just wanna find some way to stop thinking about you before my mind blasts.

Good, bad, love, hate, angry, sympathy, no matter what kind of thought it is, it's only related to you.
Sometimes I feel like instead of concentrating so much on you, if I had concentrated on my studies, I would surely have been topper of my class today.

Oh God, Please save me.
I'm not asking you to do miracles and make me forget him.I'm just asking you to give my mind some rest.

Please,Koi nahi tho ye ek help kardo na please please...!!

Lost In Your Love..♥

We many not be together today
but thoughts of you still make me feel your presence around me!!

Smiles,dhoz cute little smiles,
every time I remember it, I couldn't stop wondering what was so special about it which made me go so crazy for you!!

Moments,dhoz beautiful moments,
times spent with you were the beautiful moments of my life,
every moment spent with you was like a day spent in heaven...!!

Words,dhoz meaningless words
Words you talked rarely meant something, but every word you spoke would make me smile like an idiot..!!

looks,dhoz random looks
every time you looked at me,
you made me feel like no one could look at me the way you can.
I wonder if it was the magic of your eyes or your love.!!

Having you around me, would make me forget the world around me
May be because I saw my world in you..!!!

Don't blame me for falling for you so much,
Dhoz cute little smiles
Dhoz beautiful moments
Dhoz meaningless words
Dhoz random looks

are to be blamed
.

and even today I couldn't stop myself falling in love again and again only with you.!!

P.S: Miss you a lot 'J'